A Hardened Heart
by Booklover115
Summary: Dallas Winston doesn't care much about anything but Johnny, and was clearly on a path to self-destruction. But how did it start? What made Dally the way he was? Being in jail at the age of ten wasn't enough. That was just the nail in the coffin. It had to start somewhere. In this case: Mary Smith's apartment after James Winston did the stupidest thing he had ever done in his life.


**Hi! This is the second thing I'm posting on here, and I'm actually quite excited about this piece. I reread** _ **The Outsiders**_ **recently and started wondering why Dally had been in jail at ten, and decided I wanted to write a story about how he did.**

 **I ran into a slight problem thought, I couldn't figure out how he got there or what turned him into the cold Dallas Winston that we know and love(or hate). Then I was in the car and Bohemian Rhapsody came on and I got an idea! I couldn't stop thinking about it until I wrote it down.**

 **I know it's kind of confusing, but I'm pretty proud of it. I hope you enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own The Outsiders, and could never hope to have an idea that amazing, so instead I write about the characters that were imagined by S.E. Hinton.**

A sharp pain blossomed in Dallas Winston's cheek as his head jerked back. His father towered over him wearing a fierce scowl on his unshaven face. The small boy nearly gagged at the strong smell of alcohol that filled the air around the man.

"You're useless," the man slurred. "I used to be mad that you're mom ran back down to Texas, but now I know why. She was nothing but a tramp, but she had enough sense to leave you the minute she got the chance."

Dallas felt braver at the mention of his mother and took a quick breath before telling his father what he had been wanting to say to him for years. "She didn't leave us! She left you!"

"All my money goes into feeding you brats, and what do I get in return? Disrespect, that's what. You better learn how to talk to people who are above you!"

"You don't feed me, James does! You spend all your money on alcohol and get drunk all the time, James is the one who supports us," Dallas muttered.

"What was that?" The man asked dangerously, giving the ten year old a chance to take back what he had said.

He didn't. Dallas remembered all of the times that James had stood up for him and wanted to repay his half-brother. He could feel his father's cold, blue eyes boring into him and stared icily back at him. "You heard me."

"I should kill you for that, you ungrateful little-"

"Don't touch him!"

Dallas and his father both snapped their heads towards the door where a young man stood. Mr. Winston's face grew darker at the sight of the person, but a small smile crossed Dally's. James Winston had returned home.

"And what if I do?"

"I'll knock you across this room." James' face was hard and angry. He looked as if he could take on a whole army in that moment.

The boys' father just laughed. "I'm going out. I may be back later, if I feel like coming back." He stumbled out the door and slammed it shut behind him.

"I don't want him to come back," Dallas said quietly.

"I don't either. Maybe we'll finally get some luck and a loan shark will decide that he's tired of waiting for money that'll never come and he'll send someone out to take care of him. What do you think?" James asked, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder.

Dallas let out a laugh, but then winced. James looked at him worriedly.

"What's wrong? Is it your arm?" Dally tried to pull his arm away, but James wouldn't let him. He rolled up the boy's sleeve and found black and purple bruises all along his arm. "What else did he do to you?" James grit his teeth as his brother reluctantly lifted his chin and motioned to a cut on his throat.

"I was only gone for two days this time Dal! How could I leave while he was hurting you even more?"

"It's okay James, I'm alright."

"No, it's not okay. He tried to kill you! I'm going to take care of this Dallas."

"No! Don't do anything! It'll get better soon!"

"You've been trying to convince me of that for years. It's only gotten worse." The boy hung his head, knowing that his brother was not going to change his mind anytime soon. "Will you do me a favor?"

Dallas nodded, eager to help his brother.

"Go downstairs to Mary's room and tell her I need her to watch you until late tonight."

Dally nodded again, hugged his brother, and hurried down the apartment stairs, not stopping until he reached Mary's room. She agreed to watch him without hesitation and she started up a conversation with the younger brother of the man she loved. Dallas was at ease in her apartment, unaware of what was about to occur.

* * *

It was around midnight when they heard it. The two of them were still waiting for James to show up and pick up Dallas, who was very close to falling asleep. All traces of drowsiness left him when he heard the shot.

It was a loud pop from a few floors above them. Dallas started shaking, his breathing picking up, as he wondered what could have happened. Hundreds of situations played through his mind.

"Don't worry Dallas. It's probably just some kids messing around," Mary said, trying to comfort him, though she too looked nervous.

It turned out they had a reason to be nervous. A minute later the door to the apartment flew open. Mary jumped up, brown curls bouncing, as she stood in front of Dally, holding one of her roommate's shoes out in front of her.

James came into view and she dropped it with a sigh of relief.

"James! You're back! We heard a noise upstairs and got worried! Where were-" Mary froze as she took in his appearance. His blond hair was messy, as if he'd run his hands through it, his blue eyes were frantic as they darted to his brother. James' face was panicked and his chest heaved as though he had just finished running. And then Mary saw it.

"James, is that a gun?"

He ignored her and went straight to Dally. The frightened ten year old looked up at him.

"Why do you have a gun?" He asked, confused.

"I did something very bad Dal and now I have to go away for awhile. You gotta promise me that no matter what happens, you'll be good. Stay out of trouble, you got that?"

Something about the desperation in the teenager's voice told Dally not to argue, so he just nodded. James seemed satisfied with his answer and made a move towards the window.

"Wait! Will you come back?" Dallas asked, hoping to get an extra minute with his brother. James stooped and turned towards the small boy, looking him right in the eye.

"I'll do my very best. If I can come back, I'll be back tomorrow. If I'm not back by then it will be because I can't come back, but I love you, alright?"

Dally nodded again and James turned to Mary who was starting to cry.

" Please take care of my brother."

"Of course!" She exclaimed with a nod.

James smiled sadly. "Thank you...I wish things could've been different."

With that, he leaned down and quickly pressed his lips to Mary's. Just as fast, he pulled away and climbed out onto the fire escape, leaving a shocked Mary and scared Dallas.

* * *

Two days had passed. Dallas had since learned that his father had been shot and killed in their apartment the night that James had disappeared. It didn't take a genius to figure out that his brother had been the one to shoot him.

Dally really didn't care. He just wanted his brother to come back. According to the police officer in front of him, that wasn't going to happen.

James Winston was dead. After being cornered by the police he took his own life, using the same gun that had taken his father's.

Mary was on her knees, sobbing. Dallas stood, unfeeling, by the table, and watched as the police officer left, closing the door behind him. Dally's heart felt cold and broken. He had no one.

Mary was heartbroken now, but she would get over it, fall in love again, and get married and have children. There would be no room for him. He couldn't stay here anymore. He rushed to the window and climbed out, hurrying down the fire escape.

Mary sobbed harder as she watched him go. She couldn't find it in herself to stop the boy. Though she cared about him, he was a reminder of how she had lost James. The apartment was too.

That evening she called her worried parents and made arrangements to move back in with them. She needed to get away. Away from the fire escape that she had lost the Winston boys to.

* * *

10 Months Later

Dally sat in the back of a police car, a small smirk on his face. He had a deep cut on his left arm, that would likely scar, from a fight he had gotten into a few days before. He had been on the streets for less than a year but had adjusted quickly, and though he was far from a hardened criminal, he had a tough look on his face and his eyes resembled ice.

He had gotten into lots of trouble since he had left Mary's, but this was by far the worst. He hadn't gone to jail before. Then again, he hadn't attacked a police officer after being caught breaking and entering before that night either. Dallas knew he would probably be in jail for awhile, but he'd had so much fun he couldn't bring himself to care about the consequences.

He liked the feeling he had at that moment, the feeling of power, for even though he was nearly two feet shorter and at least one hundred and twenty pounds lighter, the officer glanced at him with a bit of fear in his eyes.

Dally's smirk grew, He could definitely get used to this.

As they neared the jail, Dally flashed back to a night that he tried to forget.

" _**You gotta promise me that no matter what happens, you'll be good. Stay out of trouble, you got that?"**_

He had promised to stay out of trouble, that was what James had wanted, but Dallas didn't care anymore. He had wanted his brother to come back, and James hadn't even attempted to do that. It was James' own fault that he couldn't come back.

Besides, James wasn't a saint himself. Dallas had learned a lot of things about his brother while out on the street, things he never would've imagined. James had been friends with the very people he had told Dally to stay away from.

He had killed himself, rather than come back. Dallas couldn't trust anything James had told him, though he wouldn't trust any of his new 'friends' either. He could only trust himself.

* * *

Dallas sat in the tiny cell that he'd occupied for months. He was currently on the small cot. Being alone had been hard, bringing back unwanted memories. Currently four words were playing over and over again in his mind.

" _ **I love you, alright?"**_ The words seemed to bounce around on the cold walls. Dally ignored them, but they wouldn't go away. He reached up and covered his ears, trying desperately to block out the lies, only for the words to become louder.

"I don't care!" He exclaimed, finally giving up on the memory leaving him alone. "I don't care!"

A tear slipped down his cheek, the first since James had died, and what he decided was also to be the last. He brushed it away angrily, blocking out any feeling he had left after his long time spent in jail. He couldn't feel anymore. The very thing James had tried to protect him from, had happened, but Dallas didn't need his advice anymore. He muttered one last sentence to his brother before pushing him out of his mind, and heart, completely.

"I don't need you anymore."


End file.
